My name is Matthew Lexus a.k.a. The Fat Cat Executive. It’s likely you’ve never heard of me up until today. Currently I’m in federal custody for getting caught with my hands in the cookie jar. (Or something to that effect) it’s been a while since I’ve been a news item and my birth name is not Matthew Lexus.
My name was changed as part of the witness protection program ran by the US Justice Department. I’m located in a secret minimum security safe house (technically it’s called a federal prison camp -I call it the dude ranch for rich dudes who get busted) located in the middle of nowhere.
I’m filthy rich, but I’m stuck here in this hole for some time, so I’m doing my best to be a model prisoner in an upscale version of what some people call Club Fed. (That’s the place rich people go to when they get busted. Even when incarcerated the super rich get the best treatment)
My situations a little bit different than most rich convicts, you see I got one of those little black books.
This little black book has helped me to perform a great civic duty (to avoid a much more lengthy prison term) and a few of my former associates have been indicted for their nefarious activities. The bottom line is that each time I rat somebody out I get a year off my sentence. (So this little canary bird has been singing-by the way I have been directly responsible for at least 1 high profile FBI take down in the last year with more coming.)
As I was hitting the links (We have a private golf course here at the dude ranch) one of my housemates (Fellow Fat Cat crook by the name of Bernie-no-no it’s not the Bernie you are thinking of) tells me about this crazy idea that he came up with, so naturally the first thing I do is get him to spill the beans and then I promptly (stole the idea from him) made an appointment with Nina the dude ranch warden to see if she would go for it.
About a week later Nina decides to let me give it a whirl with the following conditions:
Number one no taxpayer dollars would be used for this project, number two this would need to be a group project (Bernie tattled on me claiming that it was his original idea) and all inmates would need to participate, and number three we would need to offer practical advice to our readers. Because I and my fellow Fat Cat Executives have inside information about a number of subjects Nina thought this was a brilliant concept.
My fellow convict Fat Cat Executive brethren convened a board meeting and elected me spokesman. (Bernie objected vigorously but a few well placed attitude adjustments behind closed doors made him see my point of view, hence I was elected as spokesman and CEO of our little group)
So the purpose of our Blog is to help folks avoid being taken advantage of from other wannabe Fat Cat Executives who are only interested in stuffing their pockets with your money. So that’s our story in a nutshell.
